On this Mother’s Day, I pay tribute to all single mothers, especially my own mother, who raised me and my other siblings all by herself since I was eighteen. This is not a pleasant journey for any woman in any parts of the world. But for Bangladeshi mothers it is a dreadful, lonesome path.
Single moms in Bangladesh are victims of two situations, economic and social. Economic limitations grow when the single mother is not properly trained or educated to support her child. After becoming a single mom, she falls into a total confusion of being in the middle of nowhere. Some get married and lead a happy life. Some decide to devote their lives for the sake of their children; lead a life of austerity, self-negation and misery. This is where the social victimization begins.
Because of her economic limitations, she seeks for family help from her parents, brothers and sisters. Her very own family would treat her like an additional burden. Soon she would face disparagement by others, feel insecured, and lose her sense of pride.
This is not a life that any mom deserves. All single moms please rise up! Find your way of working hard to support yourself and your children instead of waiting for others to help you. There are many types of jobs you can do, many small businesses you can run. If you do not have a college education, come up with a business plan; ask for financial institutions for loan. NGOs these days are quite favorable for women who run their own businesses.
Also, there is no reason for you to stay single for the rest of your life if you happen to find a good partner whom you can count on. Be strong if you want to be happy. People would talk, but won’t help when you need them. Your children would eventually understand your decision; share them your thoughts, be happy, you will have their support too.
May 14th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
It is wonderful that Adhunika blog is discussing Adhunik issues. The old society being a patriarchail society - was not fair to women. We have to realize that many cultures and civilizations(church in particular) believed women have either no soul or half a soul, only 200 years back. So they were thought as close to innanimate - in many semitic religions. Our modern women have to help themselves - it has been only 100 years back that women started to write in Bangla, before that it was more an exception than a rule.
Though the language is quite soft but the flag is raised - I thus commend Oneza, for breaking out of the pack. Congratulations.
May 16th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Dear Sandip,
Thanks for your encouraging words and substantial information. We as a group in Adhunika, are trying to raise awareness in many areas. We hope it will make a difference!
June 29th, 2006 at 10:49 pm
Oneza,
Excellent article. Sorry I don’t have much to add, but I totally agree with you.
Having to survive in a male-dominated environment is very difficult.
Regards,
Flower
May 19th, 2007 at 6:48 am
Oneza,
Very well worded Tribute for the Mother.
Refyr#2,”We as a group in Adhunika, are trying to raise awareness in many areas. We hope it will make a difference!”-As long as your “Awareness” programme includes topics like Anti-Dowry, Paying of Mehr(applicable for muslim mariage only)by husband to wife as marriage gift,Right of the working women to retain her full earned money-(exception if women of her own free will spends some for house n family)Right of the women to receive due share of wealth given/willed by parents and finally DUTY of the children to look after the parents when they r old– these will definitely go a long way to solve the financial insecurity of parents including single Mothers.
Best of luck for yr good programmes.