adhunika blog

The benefit of leading a healthy life at any age is recognized by everyone around the world. Yet, many of us fail to practice healthy habits in our day to day life. Among some of the unhealthy trends which exist among Bangladeshi women, weight problems after marriage, giving birth to a child, moving to a foreign country or while growing old are the most common ones. There are no quick answers to the question of why women gain weight on these occasions. The most we can do is explore some of the reasons and try to find healthy alternatives to the conventional trends of gaining weight. (more…)

For last couple of months I had many parents asking me whether preschool is necessary before kindergarten and if so how does preschool help their child and what age should they send their child to preschool.

The term “preschool” means, literally, “before school.” Sounds simple enough, but this literal translation isn’t quite right for two reasons. First, preschool isn’t something that occurs before school, it is school. Second, the focus of preschool shouldn’t be on preparing a child to succeed at “real” school later, but instead should concentrate on his or her educational needs right now. (more…)

Wishing you happy earth day. Are you planning to do anything special today?

Learn: What is Earth_Day ?

I recommend one of my recent favorite movies ’Deshantori’ by Mridul Chowdhury and Sujan Mahmud to our bloggers.

Following is the synopsis of Deshantori: The widely acclaimed film Deshantori tells the story of 26 Bangladeshis who risked their lives in search of a better future by undertaking a perilous journey to Spain through the Sahara desert and the Mediterranean Sea. The film also explores the lives of modern Bangladeshi youth by examining the tension between their deep frustrations with their current conditions and their infallible optimism and national pride.

Official site: www.deshantori.com

Trailer: Deshantori

Adhunika is proud to co-host the screening of Deshantori with Drishtipat and NYBAP in New York City, if you live in the Tri-State New York area here is your chance to watch the movie.

And if you have already seen the movie then please tell us how the movie made you think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Married women taking their husbands last name is a very common culture in the western world. In US, I have seen women changing their last names after getting married and moving them back to the original family names (the maiden name) after having a divorce. I always wonder, why go through all these troubles and paperwork anyway? Does it change me by changing my family name?  I heard this advice from many Bangladeshi folks as well that it is wise to change the wife’s family name before going abroad; this will minimize lengthy paperwork and many other legal issues abroad.  Is this really important to change the last name?  Is it required by law, or by the society for a woman to change her family name?    

During the earlier days of civilization in a patriarchal society, woman had to leave her birth family to stay with her husband’s family. She became an integral part of her newly adopted family and changing the family name might be a reflection of that.  But these days when both man and woman leave their birth families to have their own family, some women still change family names.  Some call it a way to maintain the family tree. But where does woman fit in this family tree if she changes her name? Many think of family-tree in terms of patrilineality rather than a more scientific genealogy.  Can this be the reason behind all these? (more…)

…Bangladesh pulled off one of the biggest upsets of the tournament, thrashing South Africa by 67 runs at the Providence Stadium in Guyana. With 251 on the board, Bangladesh’s trio of left-arm spinners thrived on the sluggish surface, one that resembled a sub-continental sandpit during the second half of the match, and pulled off a truly memorable triumph. Read more…

Dear readers, Please share your thoughts on the Wonderful victory of Bangladesh Cricket team against the Number 1 ranked team, South Africa:).

 

 

 

Our recent discussions on Thoughts on Divorce at the blog brought out many poignant issues, and one of them was substance abuse among the younger generation. We wanted to highlight the work of Solace“ an initiative by a parent whose children were diagnosed with substance abuse, now another parent who has joined the network to dedicate her time for parents of children with drug problems.

While you read and learn about the network and these amazing parents to support the recovering patients, I would request you to tell the readers what have worked or working when your life partner, friends, family is dealing with the abuse, or if you are a recovering patient we would like to know what have worked for you. You can be anonymous when you share your experience.

Solace: A Network for Parents

Nothing is more traumatic for parents than to see their children slowly slipping away due to drugs. They feel helpless and see no way to help their children recover. Drug users and addicts are shunned by our society as outcasts. This is a social problem, says Lubna Marium, a well-known dancer, now a grandmother of one. Drug users are not criminals. Everyone needs to talk about this problem, whereby addicts can thrive within a support system and eventually recover. (more…)

Sometimes we get requests from our readers to write about this very delicate issue-‘divorce’. I am sure those who asks are not exactly having the happiest life with their spouses, and that’s why they are asking others (including us) for advice on what could be a clean way to end their marital relationship.

In Adhunika, none of us are really an expert on such issue. When we take this (divorce) question to our family counselor, she tells us, this kind of issues are so different from person to person that it is not easy to give one general suggestion to everyone.

I thought it might help if we can at least look at it from a less subjective way. Everyone of us has some experience about life, we also get share of experiences from our friends and families that also can give us an idea of how diverse the situations can be. Let me talk about a few.

I have this friend who is saying she is continuing her relationship with her abusive husband because when she thought about a divorce she realized she has to survive with her limited income that she is not ready for. Moreover she is worried that she may not be able to find someone to remarry and hence she is afraid to spend a single life. Quite unnatural for Bengali women she tells me, it is not because people will say bad things about her, she is more concerned about her own physical desires.

Here is another example; I met this woman who got divorced with two teen-aged daughters when she found out that her husband is engaged in an extra marital affair. She tells me, she didn’t have any skill set to be able to work outside, she didn’t have any friends of her own, all she cared about that it is no longer possible for her to live with an unfaithful husband. She had to beg people for help; she knocked the doors of those lawyers and asked them if they will be willing to take her case for not upfront cost. She lived on food stamp for year after year just to survive.

Another girl I know is a university graduate, came to the USA with her husband after getting married.  Within couple days, she realized she doesn’t like her husband. She apparently didn’t have any complains against him, but according to her, “he is not her type”. Eventually she  finds a decent job and goes for a divorce.

After seeing all such cases, my observation is, every person is different and every couple is different. There is no single rule that can decide this is a deal breaker, or this is not. Everyone has different values and different skills to get along with another person. (more…)