Married women taking their husbands last name is a very common culture in the western world. In US, I have seen women changing their last names after getting married and moving them back to the original family names (the maiden name) after having a divorce. I always wonder, why go through all these troubles and paperwork anyway? Does it change me by changing my family name?  I heard this advice from many Bangladeshi folks as well that it is wise to change the wife’s family name before going abroad; this will minimize lengthy paperwork and many other legal issues abroad.  Is this really important to change the last name?  Is it required by law, or by the society for a woman to change her family name?    

During the earlier days of civilization in a patriarchal society, woman had to leave her birth family to stay with her husband’s family. She became an integral part of her newly adopted family and changing the family name might be a reflection of that.  But these days when both man and woman leave their birth families to have their own family, some women still change family names.  Some call it a way to maintain the family tree. But where does woman fit in this family tree if she changes her name? Many think of family-tree in terms of patrilineality rather than a more scientific genealogy.  Can this be the reason behind all these?

My husband and I both have different last names, and we never ran into any legal issues that we could have been better off by my name change.  However, every now and then, my husband receives telemarketers’ phone calls who would ask - can I speak with Mr. (my last name)?  My husband thinks this is funny, and I think this is so stereotypical of the society that people can’t think outside the box that the wife can have an individual identity! 

I have seen one interesting case regarding this.  At their 25th anniversary, a woman decided to change her last name to match with her husband’s last name as a gesture of her love for him. This was her anniversary present to her husband.  I am sure this time the name change made her husband feel very special!  My thought is if someone changes her last name out of love that is nice!  But while you do that, don’t forget the time and energy you need to invest to replace your name in all the official records, degree papers, licenses, social security, property deeds, credit card accounts, bank accounts and so on! 

In US, you are not required by law to change your last name; it will not benefit you from the legal point of view. Here is what I found from a well-known law site - www.family.findLaw.com:  the site indicates: “When you marry, you are free to keep your own name, take your husband’s name or, if you wish, adopt a completely different name. Your husband can even adopt your name, if that’s what you both prefer. Give some careful thought to what name feels best for you. You can save yourself considerable time and trouble by making sure you are happy with your choice of name before you change any records. Any change other than taking your husband’s name will probably require a petition to the court.”

To me, name is a part of my identity.  Every person should have the right to change it on her/his own wish, or if it is necessary.  But after marriage, do we really want to lose that piece of our identity?