Where Women Enjoy More Freedom, East or West?
On several occasions I came across a hot topic – where women are more liberated, here in US or back home in Bangladesh. I have heard opinions from both sides which I will summarize here. There are many factors that I won’t be able to discuss due to the vastness of the topic.  But we would like to hear opinions from our readers.
Majority of people who have grown up in Bangladesh and have lived in US for parts of their lives have mentioned that west has given women more freedom. Â Freedom or liberty in terms of the ability to make your own choice, being able to lead a life without depending on others, being able to move/walk/travel on your own without being escorted by a man. Â On top of all of these, women in the US can work hard to achieve their goals and are less likely to become victims of sexual abuse.
Some who disagree say that it is a superficial freedom in the west. There is still discrimination against women. Look at the western media, entertainment industry, how do they portray women? Woman is merely a commodity in the western market. They have to work hard to earn their living; they have to attract men with their physical beauty; and they are being discriminated at work as well. This group says in Bangladesh women are respected, while in US women are always judged by their looks.Â
Both sides have some valid points. If we categorize the degree of freedom to fundamental or primary freedom, and secondary freedom, I see different types of freedom or lack of freedom existing in both the societies.  I consider the fundamental or primary freedom for women being the same as fundamental human rights.  This is a freedom of choice in living and thinking. In that regard I think women in the west, specifically women in US are legally and socially treated somewhat equal. In Bangladesh, women are still the victims of dowry. Majority still don’t have access to education; they still are forced to early marriage; they don’t have the equal property ownership rights in the law. These are only a few of many violations of basic human rights against the women in Bangladesh.
Secondary freedom such as respect and dignity for women are endangered in the western society as women are becoming more and more the commodities in the media and market economy. In the US, professional women with higher education in many cases are still being treated as administrative assistants. Many Bangladeshis have claimed that they respect their women more than the western world does. They respect women as mother, wife and sister. They value the dignity and liberty of women. However, I just haven’t seen this applied to all women at all levels of Bengali society. It is true that women are respected among the upper or middle-income group, or in educated class.  But the trust, respect and reliability on women’s skill and intelligence are still missing. Only verbal respect is meaningless unless it is expressed in action. If we look at the grass-root level working class women, neither primary nor secondary freedom exist for women in the society of Bangladesh.        Â
Personally, I enjoy more freedom in US.  I can achieve success here if I work hard, and the society is not questioning my ability just because I am a woman. If I succeed, that is my achievement; if I fail, I take that responsibility as well. Â
At least for one reason, I have no hesitation to say that women are better treated in US than in Bangladesh. In Bangladesh, if a woman is raped, the society looks down upon her, blames her, outcasts her, as if the whole incident is her fault. Already suffering from the horror, she then becomes the victim of the social mistreat. Here in US, such cases are treated with much compassion. There is no social stigma, and she is treated medically as a victim with all due respect.  She goes back to the society not with disgrace, but with compassion from others.    Â
The equality and true liberty for women hasn’t been achieved yet throughout the world. We could strive to reach the dignity and respect for woman all over the world once we know our shortcomings.  And when we talk about women’s liberty, we need to address all women including the grass root level rural women; not just some privileged and protected women who never had to face the reality of lives.Â
June 4th, 2007 at 1:19 am
Well, Just one point missing here about freedom :
There in US….. girls enjoy freedom not only with their profession/personal life but also with their cloths. And I guess that’s why Bangali girls prefer to enjoy freedom there in US more because none is there to speak anything about their ultra modern life style which is basically null in the void.
I totally oppose with Oneza apu, the scenario she explained here is not like before. Girl’s enjoying freedom with full respect in East too. They now doing excellent jobs. If you once visit multinational companies of Bangladesh you can take the idea of women’s freedom in Bangladesh. So must give a visit to those places soon.
Not only this, In US if a girl sexually abused they can face the situation with compassion because they never told anyone they are raped. Moreover none even bother about her whether she raped or not. Because In USA everyone live individual life where they need none to care. But here in east we all live in a family. We do respect about each other. And its not like before if a girl rape society not respect her. situation totally changed now. Now girl’s get full support if they faced such situation ever in their life. And I think if you talks about modern facilities or bla bla in the term of freedom girl’s getting everything In east now. So i don’t think girl’s in East no longer less enjoying freedom than in United states.
anyways, its my view…someone can disagree with me. So most welcome to share your thoughts. ANd Oneza apu nice post but you should take servey from all kind of Dhaka girls to give those wrong statement. Because it may happen many people from around the world visit your post and they might have wrong idea about ours. So its really not good to say something which is not toally accurate in everyone’s life style. You could write the post like in this way not everyone but someone….then it will sounds better and good…:)
Anyways never mind, hope i can make clear about my statement……have nice blogging. enjoy. bye.
wishes,
Samiha Esha
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
I believe that girls in BD equally enjoying freedom. Infact I think in some point they enjoying freedom more than girls enjoying freedom in states. At least girls
June 4th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Samiha brought a good point, it would add more value if we can do a survey among he girls who are in Bangladesh (Note that: not only those in Dhaka or not just working for a few multi national companies).
Oneza also has pointed out this, in bold letters in the beginning.
It would be really wonderful if our most frequent visitors like Samiha or anyone else could help us with a survey and can ensure participation from girls from every walk of life: for example those living in Bashabo or Hajaribaag or Nilphamari, commutes with a rickshaw or public bus. When we will have a mechanism to get input from those girls only that day we will know we have a complete picture of the situation.
Sharmin
June 4th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I totally disagree with Samiha. She mentions that girls in the U.S. enjoy freedom not only in their personal and professional lives but also in their clothes. Trust me, I have seen many women in Dhaka nowadays wearing clothes that would also raise one’s eyebrows. Not only that, there’s a whole new generation of Bangladeshis now who go clubbing, date, take drugs, etc., etc. These things are not just a part of the western culture; they are also happening back home too.
Furthermore, I would like to ask Samiha what percentage of Bangladeshi women work in these multinational companies that she is referring too? I am sure a very small percentage of the population. Unfortunately, for the less well-off people (women) in Bangladesh, there is not as much freedom in Bangladesh as in the west.
Life is a daily struggle for those without much money in Bangladesh, which is the majority of the population. At least in the west, like Oneza mentioned, regardless of how well off your family is or not, if you work hard, you can have a chance to be successful here. In Bangladesh, you are not gauranteed that. There are so many things that get in the way for the general population. Bureaucracy, red-tape, corruption, political instability, crime, etc. etc. Another example, people don’t even always get to study the subject that they want. Sometimes all the seats are full and so they have to settle for something else.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Bangladesh and it will always have a special place in my heart, but I am also willing to admit that there are lots of things there that are still not up to par with the west. I think that Bangladeshi society still has a lot of stigma against women. For instance, if a woman is not married by a certain age, she starts to face a lot of pressure from her relatives and family. I actually know a few unmarried Bangladeshi women here in the U.S. who are in their mid to late 30’s and they are afraid of even taking a vacation back home because they are afraid of the pressure they are going to face back home. People get into their business and just won’t leave them alone. I think the west is more accepting on that front. I am sure that women here face pressure too, but a lot less than in Bangladesh.
Also, if a woman gets divorced in Bangladesh, people oftentimes look at her negatively and life ends up becoming very hard for her. That is really sad. Samiha, for a society that you say really respects woman and gives women a lot of freedom, why is it that our society cannot be more compassionate towards a woman who is probably going through the hardest time in her life? Why make her life even harder? And for your information, women here do report rape and there are many different types of programs available to help rape victims; emotional and physical therapy, support groups, etc. In Bangladesh, families would be ashamed to talk about it for fear of backlash.
I think that Bangladesh is progressing quite fast on the technological side, but on social issues like rape, divorce, etc., Bangladesh still has a way to go. Maybe, one day, we will not need to have an Acid-Victims foundation in Bangladesh because people there will learn how inhuman it is to pour acid over someone.
So Samiha, while a visit to one of the multinational companies in Bangladesh will show us that a woman back home enjoys the same type of freedom as those living in the west, it will not reflect the freedom of the average women in
Bangladesh, and they are the majority. We are not talking about a small upper-class section of Bangladesh here. We are talking about the average Bangladeshi woman who do not have jobs at these few selecive multinational companies. I think that if such a woman could come to the west, her freedom and opportunaties for success would be greater.
June 4th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
One thing we need to remember that womee in west has long history of fight against discriminations and they are not done yet. Not long ago in the US women didn’t have voting rights. Even today women with same qualification often earns much less than a man.
In BD we are making progress but have long way to go.
Also for the sake keeping this discussion focused lets not bring the topic of clothes in here.
-Sharmin
June 4th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Hi Sharmin Apu, Sure it will be really great if you make a survey. Anytime you want to do the survey I can help you out. So feel free to contact with me anytime you need.
wishes,
Samiha Esha
June 4th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Samiha,
By the way, what particular survey are you basing your own response on?
June 4th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Samiha,
One more thing…perhaps you should conduct a survey here in America before coming to the conclusions that you mentioned
June 4th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Now let me reply Miss/Mrs Sharmin Islam :
Number One :
“For instance, if a woman is not married by a certain age, she starts to face a lot of pressure from her relatives and family.”
- for your kind of information this kind of scenario also quite changed too. I found no family around my friends, cousins, relatives force their girls for marriage. Infact I found girl’s of dhaka nowadays love to complete their graduation, work for settle down themself and then they decide about their marriage by themself. And the people Am talking about is above 1000 people. And as I passed from Viqarunnisa Noon School and College, We had more than twelve hundred girls in our batch. And majority of the students of my girls follow this kind of living style. So I really don’t know why you give the example from your point of view.
Number Two :
“Not only that, there’s a whole new generation of Bangladeshis now who go clubbing, date, take drugs, etc., etc. These things are not just a part of the western culture; they are also happening back home too.”
– See how much freedom Eastern people are nowadays. they don’t even bother or care about anyone and they dare to do anything they like. That’s what I also wanted to point it out, All enjoying their freedom in Dhaka now. But A few using freedom in good sense and a few spoiling their time, money, health and life. So you by your quote make it clear, how much freedom we have in our society now.
Number Three :
“Furthermore, I would like to ask Samiha what percentage of Bangladeshi women work in these multinational companies that she is referring too? I am sure a very small percentage of the population. Unfortunately, for the less well-off people (women) in Bangladesh, there is not as much freedom in Bangladesh as in the west.”
— these scenario not only for multinational companies, its applicable for all kind of working lady, professional worker and everyone. I took the example of multinational companies because, nowdays Companies like Telenor, Mobilink, Warid, Unilever,SCB, HSBC etc etc bla bla many company taking huge number of women employee’s. If you don’t trust me just give a visit. large number of girls working there. And yes I am not talking about village women here. Because You can’t compare a village women’s life style with the living style of a girl of United states. If you compare two people you should at least compare with same status. Otherwise You can’t do right comparision, isn’t it ?? So, think properly about there’s no difference about freedom with the living style of women in Weat than to women in East.
Infact those who are not relate their with professional work they also enjoying freedom in full swing. those who are housewife also managing home with their full rights. At least In my whole life I didn’t meet with any guy who dominating girls nowadays. And I met so many types of people in my life and as I am from a very large join family So am lucky to met various persons. So i never see they not enjoying their freedom. Moreover I think they are quite better here, they are not frustrated living alone like United states. They enjoying life with so much fun and freedom.
Number Four :
“Also, if a woman gets divorced in Bangladesh, people oftentimes look at her negatively and life ends up becoming very hard for her.”
– here’s your are also mistaken. Dhaka people don’t even bother to care about who’s having divorce and who’s not. We are living so busy life with ourself that we don’t even bother about other’s life. and Hardly i found people who talks about other people’s personal life. I know many girls who just got divorce withing one year of their marriage but none bothers them. Infact they are also not shy to tell that they are divorced.
Anyways, I really don’t understand why Adhunika bloggers always give any issue’s summary comparing with their living style. Its a very popular blog site where many people visits daily. And now people know about American’s and Bangladeshi living style both. I don’t understand why you all pessimistic about Bangladeshi women’s job, work, marriage, divorce bla bla bla. I really don’t think There’s not any difference with the living style in United states and with Bangladesh.
Yep In one sector we are not as advanced as them that’s education, High tech working environment, Facilities of modern equipments etc etc. So bring those topics which is accurate. And when You write any topics, try to compare with same surrounding of people. Don’t Compare Black and White together. Because Black is Black and White is white. It can’t be compare with each other.
anyways, Hope You all will try to understand my point of view. I really find no negative things such mentioned in this post or replies. So I just share my experiences. I wish you guys will take my opinions postively.
All the best. Cheeer Adhunika Bloggers
wishes,
Samiha Esha
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 4th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
I know more than five hundred people there In United states. And whenever I say something I always give my comments seeing my surrounding and after I talked with them, I do research about many Bangladeshi’s living style there in United states too. And Trust Me sharmin Apu, I don’t think they enjoying freedom more than us.
That’s all my view. You guys running a proper women blog. So I really want you guys should color beautiful encouraging post about Bangladeshi girl’s so that they do more better. But Somehow I always disppoint to see the post from your bloggers. I don’t know why till now they remaining eighteen century’s thoughts. We are not living in eighteen century now. We are living in twenty first century. And you guys should realized present living style of girls. Its really not same like Before. Bangladesh really doing great. Not only ours Whole East doing superb
wishes,
Samiha Esha.
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 4th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Seeing some good discussions here.
Readers, could you start giving some explicit examples with your comment here,
An example:
I grew us in part of Bangladesh, I always had to complete my taks before dusk and return home because I didn’t feel safe commuting by rickshaw after sunset.
I am doing my in this I no longer have to worry about keep my library or lab work incomplete beacause it is getting dark…
Or use someone’s example saying she has always been a strong freedom loving woen and had her own job while she was in Dhaka, now that she moved to the US with her husband she doesn’t have the luxary to make her own decisiona about her career anymore unless her husband permits.
Also try to think of some achieveable solutions.
It is hard to say things that are not the ideal thing for Bangladesh, but if we don’t raise when and how thae thought will happen among us?
Samiha,
Thanks for offering help for the survey.
Can you comeup with some survey question and send it to me I will be happy to review it and then you can go ahead and collect some raw data.
-Sharmin
June 4th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
“I grew us in part of Bangladesh, I always had to complete my taks before dusk and return home because I didn’t feel safe commuting by rickshaw after sunset.”
– I am quite sure you left Bangladesh before 1998/++/–, when you were studying At BUET it was like more than 15 years ago. So Sharmin Apu things not like same now. Now DU, BUET, IBA students hanging out with rickshaw’s till 11pm at night. So they don’t feel insecure hanging out with friends or going out at nights for study. Its quite change now.
Yep Sure, I will prepare questionaries and will email you. You better take the survey from online and I will pass your links to my all known circle so that they participate on your survey. Then I guess you can get the actual scenario from the whole world.
Anyways, Good luck and all the best
Happy Blogging
wishes,
Samiha Esha.
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 4th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
First of all, why even pose this question between some sort of “Eastern” and “Western” womens liberation model. I do not understand how asking this question is relevant to the actual position of women in either global area. Further more, this writer takes no consideration for the gross generalizations she is engaging in. I feel that the terms Eastern and Western are extremely outdated terms because after all, there are so many variables between say a woman in Turkey v. a woman in Pakistan. They are both Eastern, and you see how using this ‘umbrella’ word undermines women’s heterogeniety.
Sexual abuse also should not be a primary yard stick for women’s liberation! I don’t know where this writer pulled her opinions about rape from, but as most people know, OF COURSE rape is stigmatized everywhere. The reason that the statistical reporting on rape anywhere wether it is in the U.S. or Bangladesh is unreliable is because most rapes do not get reported! Why? Not just because of social stimga but because of sexist or beaurocratic state and national policy!
For example, the state can determine what counts as rape, or how long the time frame a rape victim has to report her rape in order to prosecute the attacker! So rape and sexual abuse is still under a huge cloud where neither the government or social groups understand the patterns or frequency of their occurance - regardless of geography!
June 4th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Samiha,
I have to admit, even though I do not agree with you on a lot of issues, I do enjoy reading your comments. I do want to make one thing clear though. I do not in any way mean to put down Bangladesh or sound pessimistic in my comments about Bangladesh. I lived there for a long time and in fact, my parents have settled there again after retirement. I go back to visit them every two to three years. My whole extended family lives there. I love going back home and visiting with family and friends. A lot of what I have written were based on the observations of my family and friends.
I don’t want you to think that I feel everything in America is all hunky-dory either. I don’t like our current administration and their foreign policies. I think most americans don’t keep up with or want to know much about world news. This country is so big, they are too busy keeping up with their own local news I guess. This fact leads to ignorance on the part of the general american public in my opinion. I am also sick and tired of hearing about terrorists and any potential threats. I wish we could just live in peace.
Now, back to my parents relocating back to Bangladesh after my father’s retirement. They chose to go back because at the end of the day, they felt that Bangladesh was a better place than America to settle in old age, where in the latter case, they could become a prisoner in their own home. In America, you have to drive a lot, and in old age that might become hard on them. Also, if I am working, I will be gone for most of the day, so my parents would be all alone at home the whole day.
On the other hand, since all my relatives are back home, my parents have a huge circle of family and friends that they can visit. Since it’s easy to get a cook, my mom can get some relief in her old age from her endless cooking too. Also, they don’t have to be house bound in their old age in Bangladesh, as they also have a personal driver.
So, in essence, these are not minor commodities that can be taken for granted, as in America, a cook and a driver would cost a lot to keep. But in Bangladesh, at least it’s possible since labor is so cheap.
So, I think that Bangladesh has a lot to offer too. However, I also wish that it would improve more on some of the women’s issues I mentioned in my first response above. Yes, America does not have it together yet either as Sharmin pointed out. Women here are also still working to end a lot of different type of discrimination.
I think that America (and other western countries)could benefit from from the good things about Bangladesh, such as family values, taking care of the elderly, etc. I think Bangladesh could also learn a lot from America, such as women’s rights and freedom.
So lets try to come up with things that we can do to help make positive social changes.
Thanks,
Sharmin Islam
June 4th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Sorry, just one more thing Samiha…I hope you realize that Sharmin and I (Sharmin Islam) are two different individuals. I wasn’t sure by one of your responses if you thought we were the same person.
June 4th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
I have to clarify something as a writer as Nafisa mentions “this writer takes no consideration for the gross generalizations she is engaging in”. Yes I have used the general term East and West. But if you read into further detail, at the opening paragraph I have mentioned US and Bangladesh in particular with a general notion of west being US, east being Bangladesh. I apologize if this creates confusion.
To Esha, we are not pessimistic. In order to achieve something, you need to identify and agree with our shortcomings first, like I have mentioned in the blog already. You didn’t want to compare a village woman with a woman in US. It sounds like village women are beyond comparison! Then who will talk for them, girls like you and I, right? It is not an apple to orange comparison; it is the knowing of what we have, and how we can be better. women in US are not in a very good position either. But when they see pictures of our rural women, not from your viewpoint, but from UN and other International Organizations, they always ask us, at least me - how could you let this happen to these women?
We all have Bangladesh in our hearts like Sharmin Islam says. That’s why we write issues to discuss in our extremely busy lives. It is my great pleasure to hear from Esha that Women in Bangladesh enjoys full freedom. I wish the newspapers will say the same thing from tomorrow; I hope all the UN and other Organizations echo with her!
June 4th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
To Sharmin Islam Apu :
well now you talking about some other topic about family values, respect for elders etc etc, but the blog is about women freedom, And I guess with my huge comments I can clear myself :)One thing is really funny to me also, I know many american’s who are above ninety years, they never complain about having cook or driver for themselves. I really can’t get how this facilities can be relevant with this post. Its totally vary person to person, their living expenditure and their earning money. I know many people In Bangladesh now don’t keep maid nor keep driver. They enjoy their household duties by themselves. And this all are not match with freedom. You should write separate post about all this
To Oneza Apu :
Well We all know that about grameen bank’s 90% women working so hard for their earning and they doing just superb. And we got excellent award of noble peace prize only for the success of those brilliant ladies. And UN and other international organization’s not blind. What can be best reward then a noble peace prize for them.
But I really don’t know with negative views you people never color their positive parts. I do love to talk about the things that they really facing problem day by day. But I have to make my base strong first. I have to make confirm that the person attach with my daily life ( my friends, family, relatives ) not missing their freedom. And when I can finish assuring their life I guess I can start working for rural people. I guess many people working for them And I am lucky that I am contributing for them from my earning. That’s all I can do for them now. But I really won’t say that they living less great life’s than us. Moreover, whenever I visit any village I found that village women enjoying their life better than us. They enjoying life from nature. and they doing superb with their kids too.
Probably now you all may think, why am so much positive about everything, But I really notice from my childhood that, If a student get nine A in her O/A/SSC/HHSC result but failed to secure A in their two other subject then usually bangali people always talk about their those two subject that they didn’t do well. But the nine subject they did good they never get appreciate for that. That’s really funny to me.
Anyways, Keep it up….I enjoy adhunika but somehow I need more different articles from you people
have fun…bye bye..:)
wishes,
Samiha Esha
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 5th, 2007 at 10:16 am
I am a white American woman who is married to a Bangladeshi man. I’ve been to Bangladesh several times, both to my husband’s family’s home in Dhaka and also in a village. Several times a month, I attend Bangladeshi parties and attend what you call “dawat†here in the US within my local Bangladeshi community. I feel I can add some interesting insight from my American point of view here.
First of all, I want to say that I really enjoy reading this blog. I like reading things from Bangladeshi women’s point of view. Specifically, thank you for having it in English! There aren’t enough resources for someone like me to learn more about your wonderful culture.
What prompted me to comment now were some of the comments regarding American culture. I’m sorry they don’t really have to do with women’s freedom in the “east†vs the “westâ€, but they made me quite angry and I felt I had voice my opinion.
My first issue was with Samiha’s comment: “In US if a girl sexually abused they can face the situation with compassion because they never told anyone they are raped. Moreover none even bother about her whether she raped or not. Because In USA everyone live individual life where they need none to care. But here in east we all live in a family. We do respect about each other.â€
First of all, I have to say WHAT!?!?!?! Rape is a very traumatic situation for anyone no matter what culture you live in. When someone is raped they NEED someone to care about them, because it will haunt them for the rest of their life. In the US if a girl doesn’t tell anyone it is because she is ashamed and thinks it was her fault. She might think no one will believe her. People in the US don’t live such a barren existence that they don’t need anybody to care about them. If I were raped, I know my mother, my father, my grandmothers, my grandfathers, my sisters, my cousins and my aunts, my uncles, and my friends would care very deeply and provide a support system for this kind of trauma.
I get very tired of Bangladeshi comments that they think they have a superior family system than Americans. Yes, the American family system is different than Bangladeshi. My mother’s cousin’s daughter’s husband’s sister isn’t my bestest friend in the whole wide world, but I am quite close to my family, and as an American I am not frustrated living in my lonely existence and I don’t know many people who are. Most American’s take care of their elderly parents, and they don’t kick their kids out of the home the minute they turn 18. Those who don’t take care of their parents and who kick their kids out tend to be people who are poorly educated, are poor and of the lower class…they simply can’t afford to support other people….kind of similar to the problems of the poverty stricken lower class in Bangladesh.
Sorry this was off topic but I just had to say my piece. I do have much to say about the problem of women’s freedom. That would have to be in a different comment.
June 5th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Samiha,
Really appreciate your participation and the passion. I suggest you encourgae your other friends (preferably with various economic and social background if possible) to participate in these discussions.
Unless that happens it looks very biased to others since we see it is only one person (though you are telling it from your own experience with your family) saying something.
Thanks again for your participation.
-Sharmin
June 5th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Nice post, it is true women is treated batter in U.S but i feel god have given some powers(some natural powers) to womens, if they use it wisely they can get all what she wants respact, money and all, but she should know what path is right for her. she is a mother, sister, doughter, wife or someone’s friend.she sould knows how get or demand her self-respact, her needs and how to fight with her probems she can enjoy her freedom any where she is, no matter U.S or Bangladesh. she sould not loss her self-respect in any way…
June 5th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
I am not from Bangladesh, but I lived with a Bangladeshi family while attending college in Canada. I have also travelled to many parts of the world.
I want to bring up one point - Western women are not valued in their role as mother. In France, for example, if you are a mother, you have a certain degree of respect. Over there, if you stay at home to take care of the children, that is also respected.
In the West, however, when a woman stays home to take care of the children, people often do not respect that decision. People in the West seem to believe that one’s major goal ought to be to make as much money as you can - not to take good care of your family. This thinking is ultimately not good for women, children, or families.
Also, in the West, girls are taught that it is okay to have sex freely. Ultimately, this can be very bad for the girls. Western girls are not taught enough about respecting their bodies. Their bodies ought to be treated like temples, not like amusement parks. Women in the West have sex too indiscriminately, and it has come to the point where Western men actually WISH that women would hold back more.
June 5th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
Let’s be specific. I would like to know about economic freedom, property ownership (inheritence law), and freedom in movement. Can anyone refer to the current laws and legislature regarding any of these?
June 6th, 2007 at 12:43 am
Hi Kari,
You are absolutely correct. there’s exceptional in every family around the whole universe. My cousin marry white american and she loves my cousin brother more than a bangali girl cares for their husband. You american’s are really honest and lovely and i know you also care about your families. don’t take me wrong. I have no objection about american’s living style. topic was about freedom, I just wanted to tell we are no longer less enjoying freedom than you people in the west. Hope now you won’t misunderstand me.
You told :
“Rape is a very traumatic situation for anyone no matter what culture you live in.”
True…..100% true…….and girl’s no longer scaring about facing such traumatic situation and everyone around the whole world there with them. Not only you american’s but also we also giving support to them, unless the girl herself spoiled herself.
Anyways, thanks for replying my comments because its really important to explore the right things to our society. Thank you so much for your opinion
wishes,
Samiha Esha.
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 6th, 2007 at 12:50 am
Sure Sharmin Apu, thank you very much for your appreciation. I really love adhunika blogs a lot
and am inviting my friends of young writers group of facebook to comment for this article
hope they will participate more. Good luck and all the best
wishes,
Samiha Esha
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 6th, 2007 at 11:16 am
First of all, when you consider Bangladeshi women, please consider the overall Bangladesh, not just the 1000 girls out of a private school in BD. They represent only .0007% of Bangladeshi. It’s so minute against the scale of 14 crore that for any statistical study this number will be thrown out.
If we are discussing only the 5% of the population’s freedom, in which most the bloggers belong in, then it’s a different thing.
I want to make couple of comments.
Here in US when a rape happens, the victim will get support, counseling, etc. If someone says no one cares, then that is incorrect. I know in BD, NariPokko has put in major effort to provide support to Acid and rape victims, but then again, they can reach only a handful. There is a large # that never gets reported. It’s “hush hush” thing. If that ever gets out, no one will marry that girl willingly.
Someone said in US women with higher Education are treated like Admins. Hmm, I have been working for the same company for the last 9 years, I really can’t recall any one treating me like that (I am in IT, I play a project manager’s role. I am dealing with people globally, never had an issue.) And honestly, our Admins are treated super duper nicely, with a lot of respect.
There is one other thing, Ones view of women as commodity - who are actually buying, men or women?
most of the goods are marketed for women, not for men. Studies say that women are the ones who actually the purchasing. We like to see the models in the cloths and the makeup and say that’s what we want to look like. Facts are sometimes hidden and misrepresented. Make a male model, I would hardly say that I will even look at it.
Personally, I have been out of the country for 16 years, I will not be able to present a true difference between east and west. At home, I was treated equally, had equal right as my brothers. I married into a family where my in-law’s believe in women’s right.
I want to share one experience, back in end of 2004, I went to tell my manager that I was planning a vacation to go home. She was really anxious, told me that she heard that starting Jan ‘05, women will have to cover their heads and body. I was really surprised, my mother-in-law, or my father never mentioned it. As I was feeling very down and leaving her room, I turned aeround and told her if she was aware that BD had a female prime-minister since early 90’s, and the opposition leader was also a female? Here in US - 21st century, ahead of us in every possible way, and having a Woman as the leader of the country is still questionalble.
I feel that there are lot of misconception and misrepresentation.
It’s difficult to say where there is more freedom. It varies from person to person, family to family everywhere in the world.
June 6th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
You are right madhury, very nice comment. I like that. But don’t you thing minority should try to change the majority and revolution can happen anytime right. Right now, probably you all know about Bangladesh political situation which was also impossible before. But situation changed, and situation changing in the whole country, and trust me its not only 5% now, every girls aware of their freedom. Even from lower to high society girl’s everyone just too cautious about their rights and freedom. So ratio is quite high now not that low…and very soon it will be 50-50 I believe and trust that.
Have best days bye,
wishes,
Samiha Esha
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 6th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Samiha,
I wish you would open your eyes and look around you. I’m sure you enjoy some nice freedom in your little life in which you live in a bubble where nothing bad ever happens. Whenever you step out the door you must put on rose colored glasses and not see anything bad happening around you.
The literacy rate in Bangladesh for women is around 30%. 30%!!! Compare this to 97% in the US. Do you really think you can say that women in Bangladesh have as much freedom as women in the US? The majority of women in Bangladesh don’t even have access to education! Not every girl or woman in Bangladesh knows what rights and freedom are. They haven’t been educated and they don’t even know that human rights exist!
Please think about the many young women your age in Bangladesh who were forced to get married when they were 15 or even younger and are struggling to feed 4 or 5 children. They didn’t have the choice to go to school to become a software engineer like you and your friends. They haven’t seen a computer and they can’t express their views like you can on a blog.
Trust me, I am very happy to see that as a young Bangladeshi woman you have gone on to higher education and have chosen a field that is more typically a men’s field of choice. This shows me that there is some progress being made when it comes to the education of girls, but not enough is being done.
The next time you step outside the door, please think about the little girls you see doing manual labor, or the old ladies who are begging because they were widowed and have no access to rights.
It is up to the educated to do the educating. So please educate. You can start with your domestic help who probably sleep on your kitchen floor.
Nobody is trying to place Bangladesh in a totally negative light, but facts are facts, and they cannot be ignored.
June 6th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
I think the argument that women in the “West” (I really hate that term so I’m just going to say the United States in place of West from now on) have less freedom because of how the media portrays them is weak. To say that women are only seen as commodities in western culture is silly. I would question how arranged marriages are conducted in Bangladesh these days. It is very much like a business transaction. And moreover Hindi movies. Why do I have to see Rani Mukherjee running around in a wet saree or in tiny shorts?
Women face different problems in Bangladesh and in the US. Women in Bangladesh are struggling to get educated and gain access to basic human rights. Women in the US got these things…but a whole new set of problems have arisen.
Women are expected to be superwomen. They should get a good job, be a perfect mother, be a perfect wife, have a perfect looking house and provide perfect looking nutritious meals. Working women still don’t have enough rights when it comes to childcare options. Women who work are thought to not spend enough time with their children and are bad mothers. Women who choose to stay at home with their children are seen as lazy and old fashioned.
What is a woman to do?
And now remember the term “gold digger”? I know of young men who are looking for a woman to support them and make all the money.
And why do women still in this day and age make less than men!!
June 6th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Hi Tanzeen Apu, nice to see you comments, well probably you just give your comment after seeing my replies. But if you read the whole article then you can understand the blogger represent her views of life. And I don’t think Oneza apu can’t be compare with a village girl. So when she took example of her way of living, same way I took my/my friends way of living. And again you compare Red and yellow color together which can’t be same ever. Red is Red, Yellow is Yellow. This topic is about women freedom. If you can’t take my example as way of Bangladeshi people’s freedom then how come American girl’s living style can be compare with Bangladeshi girl’s. We all living in quite different society. Our society is really different. And It can’t be matchable. But if you really want to express what is freedom, then show us what freedom means in united states, and what is freedom in Bangladesh. I guess that will be pretty interesting.
And oviously there’s now many organization doing great for those little girl’s who doing labor at home. And I do contribute myself for those girls to do well in their life. But yep, I myself can’t help them alone. Being quite independent girl living in united states with your goargeous education you should also contribute yourself. Then the society can be better. Living in united states, and feeling that you guys only enjoying freedom that’s totally silly thinking. Anyways, If i anyway misunderstand you then never mind.
Well, last but not the least, I not only survey about my friends or family, very frequently I went to my grandfather’s villages, and trust me they are now start using internet from their mobile. Isn’t it wonderful. They know what is emails etc bla bla. But Yep we have to improve our IT infrastructure for helping our village people. Many people working on this. Hope their activities will come true soon.
So Tanzeen, think deep, deeper, deepest…..none ignoring the fact, but yep You girls who living in united states always think that Bangladesh is not improving which is really false. Our government trying hard a lot for progressing IT structure in our country. But yep we don’t have enough revenue to do all this so prompt like USA but we trying and trying. And I am seeing quite prosperous future for all Bangladeshi people. So you please don’t ignore these facts too…..:)
Hope my comments easy with you….Open your eyes and explore the world….:)
have best days….Bye
wishes,
Samiha Esha
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 7th, 2007 at 12:20 am
Samiha,
For an educated person like yourself, I am surprised to see that your views are so naiive. I am sure that everyone here will agree that if you have money in Bangladesh, you can live quite a luxurious life and enjoy a lot of freedom along with that. But most people in Bangladesh don’t fall into that category. You keep saying that comparing the freedom of women in America to the freedom of Bangladeshi women living in the villages is like comparing apples to oranges. It is not. We are comparing the freedom of women in both countries who represent the majority of the population. The majority of the women in Bangladesh are not even literate, where as the majority of the women in America are. The freedom of these Bangladeshi women is much less due to all the reasons that Tanzeen and others have pointed out above. If you want to compare women of only the upper-class society in Bangladesh, then I suggest you compare them to the upper-class wealthy millionaires and billionaires of America.
June 7th, 2007 at 12:32 am
Kari, completely agree with your arguement. Women has to be perfect to do everything? It sure is a tough journey. And your comment that women in Bagladesh is struggling for different issues is also true. That’s why the blog is discussing about primary and secondary freedom.
Sharing my experience on how some primary freedom is lacking for rural women. Recently I have been engaged in a women education program that provides scholarship and advisory support for girls’ in the rural area. Sadly enough, it has been difficult to find school going girls in those remote areas! There is a great need but some who go to school are not much motivated b/c they are under pressure of early marriage! This is not a story, this came from the field observation!
Now not to be pessimistic, I know we all are working in our own capacities to do something about this. Grameen Bank sure has brought women some economic freedom. Helping a women to be educated, raising awareness in every level even in the upper income group to make them recognize that there is a deficit - all will count for this effort.
June 7th, 2007 at 9:25 am
I’m sorry..again..at the risk of sounding high-handed I would like to bring the course of this discussion back to the concept of ‘more freedom’.
There are cetain things missing in the article, and the ensuing disucussion. Renee actually tried to draw our attention to some of those aspects, but we were all too busy refuting our arguments to notice.
First of all, when you talk about women in these societies (to avoid confusion I will only take into account USA and Bangladesh), is your sample size transcending social standing and income?
Next,when Oneza talks about ‘fundamental human rights’ she does not outline the hierarchy of rights, which would be different for both countries. You have to take into account the socio-economic conditions of the countries in question. Bangladesh is an agro-based, poor, over-populated,mostly-rural economy,constantly in the throes of political turmoil whereas the USA is an advanced industrialized country. Women in each country face different struggles and dilemmas. Women in Bangladesh have more important things to worry about such as right to food, clothing, shelter and education. Choices and movement are not freedoms, but rather privileges for them. An average, rural or urban, poor or middle-class woman is hardly aware of these freedoms and they don’t comprise her needs. Therefore comparing their freedom is like comparing apples and oranges.
Samiha’s comments may have been very naive in some respects, but in the same way that she only highlighted the freedom of the urban elite, Oneza does the same for the white, educated elites of USA. If you really want to compare the state of women in the US, I think you also need to take into consideration the poorer women of the Mid-west, the less educated, the old,the African- American, Hispanic, Native- American, Asian-American and other women also. Do you think they all enjoy the same degrees of freedom? Are they treated alike, socially and legally?
An educated woman with a job will be able to ensure some respect and equity in almost every society, simply because of her financial standing. In Bangladesh women dont even have access to higher education because of so many social and economic constraints. In the US, despite so much access, there are still so many women who drop out of high schools, get pregnant while still in their teens, are unable to get out of abusive relationships, and these are only to name a few of their hardships. Therefore, being able to work, or having access to education cannot be the yardstick for measuring how free they are.
This discussion, without addressing these finer points seems quite redundant to me.
June 7th, 2007 at 9:41 am
I never said that Bangladesh was not improving, I just think it still has a looooooong way to go. The percentage of kids in school is larger now than it was 20 years ago. This is great.
Mobile phones are permeating the villages. Great. But was is the point of having email access from a mobile phone when you can’t even read?
Teach the 60-70% of women who can’t read to read first. Provide them with clean drinking water. Who needs a mobile anyway? What ever happened to good old face to face conversation?
I totally agree that the United States and Bangladesh are totally different societies….but the title of the blog was “Where Women Enjoy More Freedom, East or West” and I gave reasons why I think women in the west have more freedom.
June 7th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Yes,I understand what you’re trying to say Tanzeen, but how are you measuring them? If you agree the societies are different, then how are oranges better than apples? On the basis of what factors are you making this statement? Does your statement reflect the state of all interest groups? I have grave doubts about that.
June 7th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Hello everyone! Wow, what a great topic (and one that ALMOST EVERYONE I know talks about!) i have not been back to BD (old desh) since I was 7, so my response is colored by that. Here goes…
I recently heard a young woman (here in Queens) say that “some Bangladeshi girls are more modern and Western than the ones who grew up here” (My “here” I can only assume she meant in her Bangladeshi ethnic enclave in Astoria). The other folks at dinner w/ us seemed to agree, but it REALLY struck me as funny! To this lady, being “modern” meant being stylish, socializing w/ men, etc. (like she and her close friends did). Ok fine! But how can BD ladies be “Western” if they are not exposed to the US (one a firsthand basis)? Yes, they may be exposed to media, family from West, etc. BUT they are in BD (and thus have their own ways of being that are TOTALLY valid).
I know that lady was just stating her opinion (from her MANY visists to BD), but I am a little bit tired of people who equate being flirtateous, tight/revealing clothes, and wild behavior as “modern and Western.” Most of us American desis are NOT like that!
June 7th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Being “modern” to me is having a FAIR playing field for men AND women- good healthcare, education, equal pay. Let’s focus on that for BD, not clothes, beauty, weddings, blah, blah blah. And let’s not judge each other too harshly for being opinionated about certain topics- we are all deshis (BD or USA)!
June 7th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Why do I have to see Rani Mukherjee running around in a wet saree or in tiny shorts?
Exactly what I was saying the other day to some family! And I ALSO feel that frivolous things like Bollywood are pulling deshi youths’ hearts/minds away from REALY probs of their nations (BD or USA). Same goes w/ many other communities, I’m sure! For example, gangsta rap DOES NOT represent all people of black urban places.
June 7th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
Thanks Fariha for attempting to focus on some substantial issues. All the issues raised here are really worth thinking about.
Many of you are saying it is not right to compare apple to oranges, like US and BD. I don’t understand what is wrong to compare some fundamental needs to measure where we BD women are! Like the literacy rate of 97% in US compared to 30% in BD (Tanzeen, comment #26), should we not compare that? Women don’t have equal property right, should we not compare that to some societies where women do have more property right? Or should we not compare that BD women don’t have access to food and clothing compared to societies where women have it? Are we not all human beings as opposed to separate apples and oranges? Poor shouldn’t compare themseves with rich b/c they are poor?
I agree there are different factors in each, but how can the goal be achieved without measuring and comparing with some yardsticks?
June 8th, 2007 at 1:05 am
Renee Apu never mind, but apple taste like apples and oranges taste like oranges, I really don’t know how you can make able to turn apple as orange and alternatively orange to apple. I think this is quite silly……..
Adhnunika blogging site never get any response from any males…this is quite surprising to me…Quite strange there’s many male blogger’s but they hardly comment here…specially in this post not a single person participate……??
Wondering wondering…….
anyways You American’s enjoy freedom the way you guys want, we won’t mind. Even a rickshawala’s daughter now enjoying freedom here in Bangladesh and I do really always appreciate those people’s and girl’s of my country.
wishes,
Samiha Esha.
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 8th, 2007 at 4:11 am
Samiha’s comment:
Even a rickshawala’s daughter now enjoying freedom here in Bangladesh and I do really always appreciate those people’s and girl’s of my country…
My mom’s maid back at home is the wife of a rickshawala. She was physically abused by her husband on several occasions requiring my mom to pay for her medical needs. Her husband left her on three occasions and threatened to divorce her once when she was pregnant with his child. He takes all the money that she earns and often times spends it on alcohol. My mom has tried to help her to leave him, yet she refuses to saying that he will take her children if she leaves him.
I know that this is just one case, but there are many more stories like these….
Samiha, you call this freedom of choice among the poor women in our country?
I am sorry, but now I truly think that you do live in a bubble and wear rose-colored glasses as soon as you walk out the door…
June 8th, 2007 at 5:07 am
See..I have no issues about comparing literacy rates. But whole point is, when you bring in the question of female literacy rate, you are tacitly comparing it to male literacy rate. I BD, literacy is not a ‘female’ problem. It’s a national problem. Among the most dominant factors contributing to this problem is the nature of the economy. Very simply put, people in the villages raise kids to help them out in the fields, hence they rarely see the point of sending these kids to school. The quality of public education is deplorable and the whole system is corrupt. So, no, I don’t see the point in comparing ‘female’ literacy rates. Women have ‘lesser’ access to education because men have less access. In the US, like I said, compare the access to quality education in poorer regions of Bronx or Queens, to that in Upper Manhattan.
Whenever you talk about women, the underlying implication is it is ‘in comparison to men’. Poorer women suffer the problem of limited access, firstly because they are poor, and then later because they are women. Again I ask you, are women from the less represented groups in the US enjoying the same freedom as those from the majorities?
Before people start jumping at me and want my blood for implying that women in Bangladesh have attained the golden deer of emancipation, let me clarify : The goals of gender equity and emancipation are still far far far from bein met in Dhaka. Women in BD are still fighting for their basic rights.
However, I would also like to add that, what I do not agree with is this blanket comparison. When you use the whole Western society as a yardstick for measuring how women’s freedom is limited in BD, without taking into consideration their demograchics or socio-economics. Comparing the ’socities’ without clearly defining its parameters is what I am against, because it only makes the deprived seem even more deprived, perpetuates discrimination and also Western hegemony.
This whole article was about life of women in the privileged class. Sharmin, Oneza, Emma and the others who live abroad belong to the educated, urban, middle-class and upper-middle-class stratas of society. Therefore, in comparison to their lives in the glorified “West”, I have to side with Samiha, we are not that behind. Women belonging to the same class in BD enjoy more or less the same freedoms. Less because of the restrictions of the economy and out culture (crime rates are still high, security is big issue and we are still not a cosmopolitan society). More because we are not judged as quickly, we are not objectified as crassly as objects of sex wherever we go to work and we don’t have to use sex as a weapon (in most cases) to get ahead (ref: wolfwitz scandal, ericsson scandal, et al).
And as an end note, with respect to that last statement about a rickshaw-pullers wife. I would recommend all of you in the US watch Oprah for two weeks and watch the number of women in the show , who admit to being in or having been in abusive relationships they can’t/couldn’t get out of, despite their privileged, more emanicipated conditions(with education, food, shelter, etc)
May be the ones who think that the women in US, in terms of their struggles are far ahead of BD or any other country of the Orientalized ‘East’, should perhaps take off their rose-colored glasses and get off the bubble too
June 8th, 2007 at 6:19 am
Fariha,
Great point about Oprah. I am glad that her show exists because it points out all kinds of injustices that exists in the American society. She tries to bring public awareness to these important issues through her show and not pretend like everything is rosy and dandy. I wish that shows like that would exist in Bangladesh to represent those who don’t really have a voice. I never said that America is probem free. You insinuated it in your comments. Perhaps the problem is that those who live in Bangladesh and are exposed to poverty and the struggles of the poor on a daily basis often become desensitized to theses issues.
June 8th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Based on my limited knowledge, most probably those living in the US (among the bloggers) are seeing/belongs to US middle-lower mid class and those bloggers in Bangladesh belongs to upper/elite class. No offense in that.
But I would honestly like to hear from girls who are in BD and are NOT living in Gulsan/Banai/Dhannmodi areas (with no family car etc). I really want to know the situation, good or bad. Can someone help?
-Sharmin
June 8th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Sharmin apa..that would be a good initiative. perhaps you should get in touch with Oxfam GB Bangladesh, I think they have studies on this issue. You surely cannot expect them to participate in an English, internet blog.
Sharmin Islam, call it desensitization if you must, living thousands of miles away. It’s perhaps easier,than having to stare it in the face or worse still, have to live it. It may seem to expats such as yourself that people like Samiha and I who belong to the privileged classes ignore the struggles of the poor in our country. But just out of curiousity,how much are the sensitive diaspora doing for the poor and needy in their home country or even the country of resident, apart from exchanging big words?
As i said, i am not insensitive to the plight of Bangladeshi women, I am just against an abitrary comparison to the US and saying ‘women in the US enjoy more freedom’. From where you and I are, I think I can say that you and I have similar freedoms. Ask a poor African American woman living in New Orleans, her plight may not be as different from our Bangladeshi village women.
Also, I think Tarana Halim tried something Oprah-esque in BD, but it got canned later for shortage of availability and information.
In an end note, as I have said before, globally, the fights for gender equity are quite far from even coming close to reaching it’s desired goal. And I would again like to stress that blanket comparisons between nations and societies so different in economics, society, politics and culture, only breeds hegemony and discrimination, and does nothing for women anywhere in the world.
Best,
Fariha
June 8th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Sharmin Apu, Never Mind but As You Said ..
“But I would honestly like to hear from girls who are in BD and are NOT living in Gulsan/Banai/Dhannmodi areas (with no family car etc). I really want to know the situation, good or bad. Can someone help?”
– I really don’t understand why you categorizing girl’s into these areas? If you like to take example of village girls of Bangladesh not having freedom of women like United states, then you must also take example of All types of girls living in BD. that will be more great…
Hey Another challenge For American Girl’s Enjoying Freedom In United States, I am really hoping Mrs. Hillary Clinton will win the election of United States for the year 2008. But till now the survey I got survey from US ,that majority people still believe that girls can’t take the responsibility As President of US…..
So Adhunika Bloggers living in United states take the challenge to make her first American Lady President with your country.
June 8th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Thanks Fariha for your information.
Readers,
Lets not move our eyes from the ball which is empowering Bangladeshi women by sharing our knowledge and experience.
Since the inception of this blog we are trying hard to get participation. We need to reach out them who needs help, who doesn’t have an elder sister to seek advice from and so many such things.
It doesn’t matter if the US women enjoy more freedom or the Bangladeshi women, as long as we can extend our help to those who needs it we will know we are successful in our effort.
It doesn’t matter if I loose in this debate, but if I fail to connect to those girls I would consider my time wrongly used.
Girls, Can you achieve that? Please come up with ideas.
-Sharmin
June 8th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
Nice to know your view sharmin apu, btb, I don’t understand why u not replying about the author. We all here trying to open eyes East vs west and the way Oneza apu expressing her ideas that In west she enjoying more freedom than Bangladeshi women like us. Now you all are trying to bring another topic of helping girls which is not related with this post.
Here BNWLA Hostel, HOPE, 1 degree initiative, Brac, Grameen Bank and many nice organization helping girl’s, aged people and they just doing superb. So if you really want to help those girl and not waste your time, then i guess you should go through their activities despite of telling your blogger’s to write about such ignorable topic where she herself even didn’t much research about it.
Anyways, Blog is really a beautiful platform for helping via communities. So We really need to first stop this discrimination, I guess here none is debating and its totally vary from person to person’s life vission. Our mission and vission of life should be really different…
Another Thing, here Sharmin Islam apu mentioned about her maid’s sad life story. Great your mom helping her. You see, What I told before now people of Bangladesh don’t ignore those abuse women. They always come out with their helping hand. Like your Mom, there’s many sister, brother and uncle, aunties helping them. They are not alone at all.
Yesterday It was heavy raining in Dhaka, and You know two garments women were walking in that heavy rain to go back to their home from their work. I was simply amazed to see, how much freedom they enjoying in their life. IN heavy storm they didn’t even bother to wait for someone to help them to reach their destination.
Go to garments, Do survey their, You will understand how modern life they are doing…but yes there’s may be some exception which is present in every single society. So we have to turn those bad doings into right one then we can be successful.
Anyways, this post seems to me, Oneza Apu just wrote without any moderation. She should moderate her post before posting here. She really can’t tell without her full detail explanations that west enjoy freedom more.
Please go through Fariha Sarawat’s replies. She beautifully explain our society environment properly. Try to get point stuffs from there. Anyways, Its my last topic regarding this post. Because its really doesn’t matter to me whether she believe West girls enjoying freedom more…
I regularly watching Hillary Clinton’s election campeign, If a senetor has to face those kinds of reality for particiapting for President election then its quite understandable How much freedom truly American girls have…Where as we had Two Girl as our prime minister….anyways, It may arise another debate…But leave it, drop it and forget it….Because you guys will still tell West West west has more freedom, which I really don’t think is right…Show Some right example of freedom first, Know what is freedom in your life explain, Don’t say big words only without gathering proper knowledge about real life fact which Oneza apu tried to avoid….
Have splendid weekends, Enjoy your holidays. Take care…and bye bye.
wishes,
Samiha Esha
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 9th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Ruby is a 21 year old woman from rural Bangladesh. She never went to school and is illiterate. Her family felt it wasn’t necessary to teach their daughter to read, and they didn’t have the resources available to them. When she was 14 years old she was married, and shortly thereafter she became pregnant. When it came time to give birth, she had great trouble. For several days she struggled to give birth at home with only her mother-in-law and a traditional birthing attendant to help her, but because she was so young it was very difficult. By the time she was able to arrive at a local health center, the damage had been done. She suffered from a birthing injury known as fistula. The prolonged pressure from the baby’s head cut off the blood supply to her bladder and the surrounding tissue began to rot, making a hole in her bladder and rendering her incontinent. Because she was unable to control her urine, her husband cast her away and she was ostracized by her community. Only her own mother cares about her. She can get help for the condition, but the surgery will cost $400. Constantly leaking urine, she is unable to work, and it will take several years for her mother to save enough money for the surgery.
Lashonda is a 19 year old black woman from New Orleans. When she was 16 she became pregnant and shortly after that she dropped out of school. The baby’s father is basically non-existent in her life, he didn’t want the responsibility and child support money isn’t there. When Hurricane Katrina hit, her family’s home was washed away. She relocated to Atlanta, GA with her mother and three younger siblings. Lashonda wants a better life for herself and her son. Her mother never went to college, and was a single mother struggling to support four children on a low income. Lashonda is working full time at McDonald’s and her son is at a daycare where the fees are a sliding scale depending on how much money you make. She is working toward earning her GED and then wants to go on to school to become an x-ray technician. She knows she can do this with the help of aid from the state and scholarships geared toward young black women… and a lot of hard work.
Who has more freedom?
Drumina is 24 years old. She grew up in a village in Bangladesh. When she was 16 the Khan family took her in as their maid. She sleeps on the kitchen floor and Mrs. Khan is constantly yelling at her, and sometimes she hits her. A few years ago, she had a certain liaison with another domestic helper in the Khan family, a young man. She ended up pregnant. Mr. Khan forced the young man to marry her, but he ran away shortly thereafter and he only saw his daughter Nayan once. Drumina isn’t quite sure what the future holds. But she sees herself continuing to serve the Khan family and earning 400 taka a month. Her daughter will probably work for the Khan’s too when she gets a little older. Drumina is just happy to have a certain source of income and a place to sleep at night.
Jennifer lives in Fresno, CA. She’s 25. When she was 19 and in her first year of college she met the guy of her dreams, David, who was 21. David seemed to be everything she was looking for in a future husband, he was good looking, smart, ambitious and sweet. She fell in love almost right away, and was ecstatic when after two years of dating he proposed to her. They married when she was 22 and had graduated from college. They moved into a modest 3 bedroom house. Married life isn’t what she thought it would be. David insisted that she not work. He was the man and would bring all the money home. He cut her off from all her friends and only gives her a set amount of money every week to spend. A few times he has even hit her. But Jennifer still believes she loves him and despite pleading from her family and friends, doesn’t have the courage to leave her controlling husband, although all the resources are available to her like a family who can help her out if she needs it and since she is educated, job opportunities are available to her.
Who has more freedom?
Anisha has it all. She grew up in Dhanmondi, Dhaka and went to an elite English medium school. She graduated from Dhaka University with a degree in English lit. Her father is pretty high up there in the garment business, her mother is a housewife and she has two younger siblings. She’s 27 now. When she was a teenager she enjoyed hanging out with all her girl friends at each other homes or at the ice cream shop. At Dhaka University she met a boy, Ripon. He sure was cute, and they had fun sneaking around and hanging out. But one day Anisha’s father somehow found out about their relationship and put a stop to it. He began pressuring her to marry a man who lived in New York, but after much pleading on her and her mother’s part her father didn’t make her do it.
At the age of 24 Anisha still lived at home with her family as is the custom, and she worked as a teacher’s aide at the Australian International School. Bio-datas appeared, and subtle meetings between families developed and finally an arranged marriage happened. At 24 Anisha married Rahul a 31 year old bank executive. She moved in with his family. Rahul said she didn’t have to continue to work if she didn’t want to, but she chose to continue to work because she couldn’t stand to stay at home with her mother-in-law all day. Anisha stays out of their financial affairs, Rahul doesn’t expect her to know about that stuff. Anisha and Rahul spend much of their free time going to weddings and different parties and spending time with their family. Anisha knows she should have a baby soon. There’s pressure from both families and she’s approaching 30.
Danielle is 26 and grew up in Minneapolis, MN. She’s from a solidly middle class family and has never had to worry about money. Both of her parents work, and she has one younger brother. At 16 her parents gave her an used Ford Taurus to drive around. She had lots of fun with her friends cruising around and it came in handy when she wanted to go shopping and or when she drove to her after school job as a server in a hotel restaurant for extra spending money. When she was 17 she took a class trip to France, and that forever instilled the travel bug in her. She had a few boyfriends in high school, nothing too serious and went to the senior prom with Scott Hendrickson. She went to the University of Minnesota and majored in accounting. She lived in the dorms her first two years and then in an apartment with a couple other girls her last two years. She studied abroad in France the last semester of her sophomore year despite not knowing anyone in France and had quite an eye opening experience. She had a lot of fun going to parties and bars with her girlfriends. All through college she worked in a small office as a bookkeeper part time. She met a boy in college, Eric. They became quite serious, and despite the fact that Danielle’s grandmother pursed her lips at the thought, they moved in together after they both graduated from college. Danielle got a job in a CPA firm and Eric got a job as a software developer. After two years of living together Eric finally proposed and they married a year later. They’ve been married one year now and life is great. They bought a modest house in a nice neighborhood in Minneapolis. Danielle handles all the finances since she’s the accountant, but they make the major financial decisions together and Eric respects her opinion. They have no plans for kids any time soon. They would rather travel more and they like going out on the weekend.
Who has more freedom?
June 9th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Mr. M…superb
That’s really wonderful observation
Well Done 
June 10th, 2007 at 11:24 am
It is very easy for girls from the more privileged class in Dhaka to think they know something about living in America from watching TV. Watch a few episodes of Oprah and suddenly you know how Americans live, right? Watch Desperate Housewives and Sex in the City and you get the impression that women are only treated as sex objects in the US. Or talk to a Bangladeshi who lives in America, and suddenly you know how it is in the United States.
I want to know if the girls who live in Dhaka have ever lived in the United States and if so, for how long?
It has been argued that girls in the more privileged classes have as much freedom as girls with similar backgrounds in the US, but I have not seen many examples of this. Why do you think these girls have the same amount of freedom?
I would also like to see reasons why a rickshawallah’s wife is experiencing more freedom these days.
Is there something like Affirmative Action in Bangladesh?
My husband’s manager is a woman. My supervisor is a woman. My supervisor’s manager is a woman. How often would this be the case in Bangladesh?
Also, there was some talk of how people are helping the less fortunate. I’m curious as to how common it is in Dhaka for girls to do volunteer work. For example, it is pretty common in the US for girls (And of course guys) to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity (building affordable housing), or spending their spring break on a volunteer trip…for example this year it was pretty common to volunteer for a week to help clean up the disaster left behind from Hurricane Katrina.
I’m not trying to be condescending or anything…I’m just curious.
June 10th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Samiha Esha,
Is there any reason you are undermining the contribution of NRBs? Or saying we are less patriotic then you are just because you live in Bangladesh?
There is no ‘you americans’ or ‘me more bangladeshi’ complex with our community bloggers, we are here because we are women of Bangladesh, and love Bangladesh. All of us are here together because we want to make a difference in our lives and learn from others.
I would suggest before you send another comment, pay more attention what you are saying. You can disagree with what any of the bloggers write/comment, but show some humility!
best regards,
Shahnaz
June 10th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
I didn’t expect such comment from adhunika bloggers to me. I don’t know how shahnaz apu can express such comment about me :
” There is no ‘you americans’ or ‘me more bangladeshi’ complex with our community bloggers, we are here because we are women of Bangladesh, and love Bangladesh. All of us are here together because we want to make a difference in our lives and learn from others.
I would suggest before you send another comment, pay more attention what you are saying. You can disagree with what any of the bloggers write/comment, but show some humility! ”
Number One :
I never say anything about patriotism to any of you. neither i say you guys are not patriot. The argue was about freedom and somehow you skipped that part.
Number two :
How many bloggers from Adhunika are not using American citizenship? And How many of you are not using Green cards. And America doesn’t support any dual citizenship. So I don’t know why u feel bad when I mention american girl’s as Americans.
I know in this blog community none of you can dare to reject American Citizenship. So what you are Aceept that.Living in America with American citizenship and telling you are Bangladeshi is quite strange to me.
I live with such friend circle in my life where one of my friend went to American Embassy, returned their US green card and living in Bangladesh so fantastically.
Anyways, Thanks for all the comment. Thanks for adhunika blogging world. Wish you success in life. I won’t visit Adhunika blog Site anymore. Neither I am going to say/comment anything regarding any articles. Enjoy whatever you think. Live your life whatever way you guys like. And thanks for giving such a comment about my views.
Next time don’t welcome anyone with their open views. Restrict comment, do moderation and if you don’t agree then don’t approve. it will be best for you people.
Good Luck to all of you. And Bye Bye Forever.
wishes,
Samiha Esha.
http://amazon707.wordpress.com
June 17th, 2007 at 3:40 am
Dear Adhunika bloggers,
Perhaps you can start donating to educate village women and ensure that the literacy rate is not as low as 30%.
Most of these bangladeshis in the US cant be compared with girls from rural areas. We need a level playing field, if we do want to compare.
So its better to look at girls from Dhaka and Chittagong and other metropolis.
Law and order situation did improve to a great extent, when elite RAB forces were deployed. People were eid-shopping till 2 AM and that alone was a testimony to the great heights of safety male and female enjoyed.
In the US, girls are treated as objects … this is the street view … in offices its not the case. So please be more specific when you say women in US … a female wont be subject to such taunts in offices but she is highly likely to be in trouble if she is found alone … and group of hooligans find her at night. Unless our male counterparts have a moral context, its highly likely that a female can be unsafe walking alone at night near a park in BD or in the US.
June 17th, 2007 at 3:45 am
I have dual citizenship as Australia allows that to co-exist and i also have a no-visa required seal from Bangladesh High comm. so its sad to see sameeha esha departing from adhunika blogs forever.
By the NRB’s contribute $4 billion per year but only a small portion of it is coming from bangladeshi americans.
June 18th, 2007 at 7:31 am
Sameena
Do you have voting rights in Bangladesh? I mean are you legally allowed to vote in dhaka? because if you’re born here, but are a citizen of a foreign nation and hold a foreign passport, doesnt’ that make you a Bangladeshi national and an Australian citizen? Does the Australian govt allow it’s citizen to have legal rights in other countries?
I hope you are not offended by the question. I’m just trying to learn about the legal rights of NRBs.
Thanks
Fariha
July 1st, 2007 at 5:00 am
I do have voting rights as i am a bangladeshi national who holds an Australian passport. Australian govt can not stop me from voting in bangladesh .. in fact the idea of dual citizenship is to allow Australians to take better opportunities wherever it may be and yet retain their Australian passport. In fact 41,000 Australians left the country ( there are a lot of 2nd generation immigrants like me in that list). Your question is very naive and exposes your shortsightedness about the concept of dual citizenship. By the way, i am a chittagonian who was enlisted as a voter in December 2005 when i was visiting my village for 2 days. I am a Software Engineer who works for NSW Government and an alumni of Monipur High School, Dhaka
Anyway i have no interest to vote in bangladesh as i think my vote will not make any difference as the concept of democracy is anything but a dismal failure as far as BD is concerned. Its refreshing to see CTG trying to make the political arena a more even battle ground for honest and not-so-corrupt people who would like to use politics as a vehicle towards contributing
to the overall well being of bangladesh.
Sameeha Esha’s departure is very premature
July 1st, 2007 at 5:03 am
Australian high commission will infact help me if i need to use any diplomatic avenue. Although HSBC bangladesh is trying to provide exclusive services to NRBs. By the way, if NRB’s werent sending $4.5 billion USD per year bangladesh would be much poorer. At least 10% almost all IPOs ( and some NRB mutual funds) ensured that there are direct foreign investment from NRB into BD’s growing stock market.
I have invested 8 lakhs in BSRM’s IPO to be enlisted in December. 5 of which has been approaved.
July 1st, 2007 at 5:14 am
Although few idiots made a big deal out .. this CTG overstaying 3 months ( perhaps making BD’s constitution an object to mock about ), i personally would like to see them stay at the helm for 2 years or forever if possible. The only problem with that is .. who will they be accountable to ? BD politicians of major parties are hopeless and they have only mastered the art of stealing public wealth ( with the exception of a few), there is no point in returning to democracy. US and its allies have no rights to dictate how BD govt should be run but if they are donating $$ then they have the right to know how it was spent.
July 18th, 2007 at 5:17 am
I am a Bangladeshi and live in Dhaka. I am working at Nari Jibon Project (website: http://www.narijibon.com ). The objective of this project is alternative skills for women.
Always we are trying providing best serve to women by given different training. Here women can take training for ICT, computers, English, Photography and others in safe environment. Our some students have to face lots of problem from their family. There were many women who could not continue their course due to family problem. The family guardians/husbands made them drops the course. So here, we see as Bangladeshi women have no freedom for their education or training.
In Bangladesh compared to males females do not have equal facilities like. The women face discrimination in every aspect of their life. Bangladeshi society is a male dominated society. In business, job sector men are always ahead of women.
And the other hand of US women, they have freedom for their education and others.
I think when we want to compare Bangladeshi and US women; we will find lots of disproportion between them.
July 24th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
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July 24th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
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July 24th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
I just wanted to write and say that I really enjoyed reading some of the blogs posted by the different students of Nari Jibon on their blogsite. Some of the stories are quite touching and humbling. One particular story that really made me sad was that of a little girl who got lost in the city and could not find her way back home because she did not know her home address. She is forced to spend her early years in a place for lost children. Having a small child myself, such stories makes me wish that no child ever has to face anything like that. Many, many thanks to Nari Jibon for helping so many women to learn job skills so that they can empower themselves and find work. Also, many thanks to Adhunika for bringing the Nari Jibon project to our attention.
July 26th, 2007 at 8:40 am
Sharmin Apu,
I am very glad to know that you and adhunika like our nari jibon blog site. I am also like adhunika blog site, post and their discussions. I was visit the Dhaka office of Adhunika organization and talked with the Leena Shahid IT coordinator of Adhunika organization. I pleased to see and know their IT training for women. You can also visit the Nari Jibon bangla blog http://banglablog-narijibon.blogspot.com/
All the best
July 27th, 2007 at 12:59 am
Sharmin, echoing with you, we also like to thank Global Voices Online and Narijibon for connecting with us.
Taslima, much thanks for your comments. In Adhunika Blog, we like to hear more voices from girls living in Bangladesh. We look forward to seeing comments from you and other members of Nari Jibon.