This is the continuing article with same title by our participant Sharmin Islam.

Fortunately, the pregnancy was confirmed by a doctor and after what seemed like many months of trying, I was finally able to get started on my own journey into pregnancy.  I was surprised when I came to realize what a roller coaster ride that journey would be.  I started getting morning sickness and nausea from very early on and felt extremely fatigued and tired throughout the day, to the point where I had to drop out of my classes in grad school.  Although I was hungry all the time, certain things made me revolt and want to puke, like the smell or sight of beef and cabbage.  I craved crunchy green apples all the time of all things!  Another thing that was really difficult for me was trying to kick the caffeine habit and not drink tea daily, although doctors say that one cup of tea a day is fine during pregnancy.  Incontinence and frequent trips to the bathroom during the third trimester was another annoying and embarrassing part of pregnancy to deal with. Walking also became very difficult during the summer months when I was in my third trimester, accompanied by painful lower back pain that just would not go away, no matter what I did to alleviate the pain.  Finally, my mood swings also wore me down, with feelings of elation one minute and melancholy the next.  I really felt so alone and wished so much to be around my parents and family during that time, who were living an ocean and many continents away. 

Needless to say, I somehow managed through those emotional rollercoaster months of pregnancy with the help of pre-natal vitamins, regular exercise and some good friends who offered much needed friendship and comfort.  When my due date got closer, my parents finally arrived to be present at the birth of my first child and to help me out during the post-partum period.  I cannot be more grateful for their help because I really think that I did not get post-partum depression after my baby arrived because of the wonderful support system they provided during that time.  The birth of my baby was the most magnificent and happiest moment of my life.  The labor leading to the birth of my son was a long one; almost a day-and-a-half.  When I saw my son for the first time however, all the pain and agony I had  endured over the previous ten months vanished and it seemed like it was definitely worth the ride to get to this point.  I simply fell in love with my baby from the moment I lay my eyes on him.  God could not have made me feel more fulfilled after those harrowing ten months. 

Looking back on that journey now, I realize that it can be very hard for many couples to get pregnant.  I think we need to offer empathy to couples trying to get pregnant, and not subtle or overt criticism.  Pregnancy is a highly emotional and spiritual journey for both the woman and the man involved in the process.  A happy and successful pregnancy can only be attained with the help and nurturing of family and friends, both during pregnancy and the post-partum period.  In a culture that demands women to almost be super-women, it puts a lot of pressure on women to pick up their health and go on with their lives almost within a few weeks of delivery.  I don’t think that’s a realistic expectation.  I once read that in Japan, the cultural tradition expects a woman who has given birth to be wrapped up in a cloth like her baby and to lay in bed next to her baby for one month, during which time the women in the whole village offer to help her out with household duties so that she can recover from child birth and bond with her baby.  Only after a month, is she expected to resume her chores, unlike our western society, which gives women such little time to recoup from pregnancy and childbirth.  Also, if a woman is not able to breast feed her baby, she faces a lot of pressure and criticism.  That should not be the case.  Sometimes, it is simply not possible for a woman to breast feed her baby even if she sincerely wants to, especially if her milk supply is low, as was the situation in my case.

Now that I am pregnant again and expecting my second child, I hope that the lessons that I have learned during my first pregnancy will help me to better ride the rollercoaster of pregnancy this second time around as well as help others who are going through this journey as well.