adhunika blog

Following article is by our regular participant Labiba Ali. Enjoy!

I am on the phone with Amma and conducting our weekly trans-Atlantic, trans-EuroAsia telephone conversation. Amma updates me on the happenings of our extended family in Dhaka: Nani needs a new bed, my cousin got caught bunking class, Choto Khala and Khalu are going on their 15^th honeymoon and so on. Just before ending the call, Amma slightly hints if I’ve met anyone yet. I innocently ask her what she means by that: I am always meeting people; after all I live in NY – home to gazillion people. Of course I know exactly what she means but I love playing these silly pranks on her. She is referring to if I have met ‘The One’. I gently tell her, ‘No, not yet. The time isn’t right.’ In turn, she delivers an eloquent lecture on the merits of marriage and how the time has already come and is walking out the door as we speak. Since I am in my late twenties I am getting beyond marriageable age. Soon I will have to be retired and put on the back shelf like an old toy. This is what I call major Generation Gap. My mother thinks twenties is the time to settle down, marry and raise kids. And I say that life is only just beginning and it’s time to celebrate the single life! (However, it would be ungrateful of me if I didn’t footnote here that I am privileged to have parents who for the most part have let me live my life as I have dreamed.) (more…)

Few weeks after I signed up as a career mentor at my company, I got a notification saying someone selected me as her mentor. I got quite excited. I prepared myself with an action plan, how to measure progress and all sorts of things. Then came the first meeting day — we met, we talked. She also came prepared with her “want to achieve” list handy, I though, wow, this is going to be easy!

But wait… the big surprise was still waiting for me. When I asked her about her work life and what brings her to me, she started saying how unhappy and stressed out she had been with her work, how it had been affecting her personal life with her husband and her little one.
I came down to reality — to be honest, I got quite scared — how am I going to help, should I just ask her to quit?

But I decided to give it a try; let’s apply some of those techniques I learnt from the women’s conference I attended lately. I explained her the Power of Positive Confrontation.

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Greetings everyone, time has come when we do the yearly chat with our readers on what you would like us to discuss on the blog. Like always, if you do not want to disclose your name to the readers, just write as an ‘anonymous’ when you send us your topic of choice.

Again, thank you for your co-operation.

Are you one of those women who have given up a hobby or an ambition due to unavoidable circumstances in life? If yes then do you regret it? Have you ever thought of rejuvenating your hobby or ambition?

If your answers to the 1st 2 questions are yes, then do not be disheartened. Many women around the world have given up their interest to serve the interests of others, be it their family, their husband, children or the in laws. I was watching this music video the other day where 3 homemakers in India renews their passion for dancing, poetry and fashion designing all of which they had left when they got married. Fortunately for the women in the music video their husbands & in laws were supportive, a state every women expect to have in their lives.

In many countries women have come a long way. Many are well educated, work outside home, and manage both the home and work perfectly well. In all this some still fail to maintain their hobby or end up doing something which they don’t want to do, but their parents, husband or extended family think is the best thing for them to do. (more…)